Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
