someone get that fucking seahorse.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize