Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
