you guys were way drunker than both of me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
