What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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