You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
