I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am mentally ready for anal.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
