I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
