This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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