How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
