cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize