I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
