As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
