Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
