Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
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