Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
