Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
