I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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