My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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