when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
