Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.