I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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