You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
