remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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