If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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