The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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