It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I think i got beer on your cat.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
