There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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