Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
