Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
