you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
