She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize