It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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