we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Someone came in the potted fern
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
