I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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