on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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