ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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