She is in my trunk
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I believe in your delicious
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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