Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
