I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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