i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
only if we run a train.
done.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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