she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
