last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize