matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
