Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
