giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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