I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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