The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
