She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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