Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
