Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
