Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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