I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
