This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
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we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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