...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
