I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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