Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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