I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
did i walk over a car last night?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize