tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize