I'm drive I can fine osifer
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
