you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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