so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
