I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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