Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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